This girl is more easily done than said...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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