Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
