Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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