I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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