Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
