Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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