I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
