is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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