just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
