ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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