Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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