Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
birth control should be required to get into college
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
