Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
