I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My vagina is very pro this idea
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
