so explain again why im purple
no
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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