sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
