bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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