The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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