i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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