So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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