it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
