My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
