Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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