He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
