just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
