good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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