You're so nebulous sometimes
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
