I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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