So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
