Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
