I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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