just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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