I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
