I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
