Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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