I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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