When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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