Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
