from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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