wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
