Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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