So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
