every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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