So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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