I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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