I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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