i need an iv and a liver transplant
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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