Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize