I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
be right there i have to get my cape
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
