I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
