I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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