We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
