its not stalking. its research.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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