I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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