did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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