just come out here and I will go home with you...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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