so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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