Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
