Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
